I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
