It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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