i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
