this just has baby written all over it
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
