Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
