Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
