my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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