Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
