Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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