White coat. Heels.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
