Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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