Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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