Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
