just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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