So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The power of my boobs compel you
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
