I love black thongs
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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