your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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