hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
