They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
