Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
