Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I had to cum in my sink.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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