I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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