What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize