can u get pink eye on your cock?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
