Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
