Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
