she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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