my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
