Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
