remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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