Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
