im gay
i know
yea but for you.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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