if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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