I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize