My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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