she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
