god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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