I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
