Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
