I think im going to throw up on grandma
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
