god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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