I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I am spending my child support on dildos
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
