Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
