a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
