you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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