Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
