worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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