forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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