I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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