This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
