just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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