Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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