you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
