Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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