She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
