i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
