i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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