dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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