Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
