There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
