I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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