Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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