I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
as a side note pls kill me
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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