in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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